Well yet again it happened, what started as an innocuous chat went haywire and we got entangled into life, existence, happiness, spirituality et all and in the end left me with a question to ponder over as to what constitutes true happiness? What is the best and sure shot way to the pursuit of happiness? But first the chat :) :
Me: hi
MyDearFriend: hi, whassup??
Me: not much, u tell me?
MyDearFriend: m fine
Me: not much, u tell me?
MyDearFriend: m fine
Me: how is your work n all?
MyDearFriend: ok …how r things at ur end?
MyDearFriend: ok …how r things at ur end?
Me: Fine...u starting to explore some new area?
MyDearFriend: no
Me: or just sticking to what u currently doing?
MyDearFriend: m bored with life…m just reflecting and thinking how much is too much in life??
Me: ha ha ha.. its never too much dost…life goes on…
MyDearFriend: and is there anything beyond sex and money, marriage and profession?? Who we really are and what we really need in life?? Also why r we here??
Me: If you think that much you are getting into trouble…great thinkers have spent their entire lives looking for answers...we should not follow in that trapt..
MyDearFriend: I know same age old questions. Which disturbs every wise and rational Man...? lesser minds don’t go to that level.
Me: I would suggest breaking away from all this...you have a chance and the resources why don't u try ur hands at some new business... that will keep u busy also and may be u'll get answers to ur questions as well...if you think that much u’ll end up getting depressed only...you have XYZ’s business experience at your disposal… try something new
MyDearFriend: ab kissi cheez ki ichha nahin ho rahi life mein (I have no more desires left in life)
Me: woh coffee shop wale idea ka kya hua (What happened to that coffee shop idea?)
MyDearFriend: I donno why
Me: abey chup saale (Shut up a%*&^^*!!)
MyDearFriend: feeling dispassionate with life
Me: what’s your age?
MyDearFriend: 29
Me: then!! Consider your self a kid…
MyDearFriend: yeh bhi nahin pata ki yeh Meri sahi age hai ki nahin (Don’t even know if that’s my correct age)...I donno how many births I ve taken previously...and in what forms and how many further births I ve to see
Me: achhaa ek suggestion aur deta hun (OK…one more suggestion)....this might be helpful...
MyDearFriend: somehow feel like renouncing everything every thought, desire, need
Me: pickup a good camera...pick a good bike ...do a road trip...8-10 days...this might give u a new perspective
MyDearFriend: I don’t ve bike
Me: get one na
MyDearFriend: kuchh nhin badlega in sab cheezon se (Nothing will change with all these things)...the questions remains we r just moving in space and time
Me: Even the greatest thinkers have got enlightenment when they have broken the mould of their daily routine...I would say take a break…no harm in trying...
MyDearFriend: I m on break already
Me: No not at home… go on some trip alone for a few days
MyDearFriend: to Himalayas with saffron clothes, trishul and damru
Me: ha ha ha…not necessarily; it’s not about appearance it’s about ur mind
MyDearFriend: u know u don’t need to go anywhere...one needs to go within...settle deep in urself that is the real journey
Me: hmm
MyDearFriend: this whole world is projection of ur mind one needs to go within practice silence appreciate nature renounce desires practice detachment and perhaps continence what u say
Me: ladke u should think about these things when u are 60 is what I feel.Did u think like this when u were a kid? No...Right??
MyDearFriend: that’s why in first place I asked how much is too much
Me: because u were too occupied learning and exploring new things
MyDearFriend: at 60 u will say lets think about it at 80 at some point sooner or later u ll ve to drop everything
MyDearFriend: no
Me: or just sticking to what u currently doing?
MyDearFriend: m bored with life…m just reflecting and thinking how much is too much in life??
Me: ha ha ha.. its never too much dost…life goes on…
MyDearFriend: and is there anything beyond sex and money, marriage and profession?? Who we really are and what we really need in life?? Also why r we here??
Me: If you think that much you are getting into trouble…great thinkers have spent their entire lives looking for answers...we should not follow in that trapt..
MyDearFriend: I know same age old questions. Which disturbs every wise and rational Man...? lesser minds don’t go to that level.
Me: I would suggest breaking away from all this...you have a chance and the resources why don't u try ur hands at some new business... that will keep u busy also and may be u'll get answers to ur questions as well...if you think that much u’ll end up getting depressed only...you have XYZ’s business experience at your disposal… try something new
MyDearFriend: ab kissi cheez ki ichha nahin ho rahi life mein (I have no more desires left in life)
Me: woh coffee shop wale idea ka kya hua (What happened to that coffee shop idea?)
MyDearFriend: I donno why
Me: abey chup saale (Shut up a%*&^^*!!)
MyDearFriend: feeling dispassionate with life
Me: what’s your age?
MyDearFriend: 29
Me: then!! Consider your self a kid…
MyDearFriend: yeh bhi nahin pata ki yeh Meri sahi age hai ki nahin (Don’t even know if that’s my correct age)...I donno how many births I ve taken previously...and in what forms and how many further births I ve to see
Me: achhaa ek suggestion aur deta hun (OK…one more suggestion)....this might be helpful...
MyDearFriend: somehow feel like renouncing everything every thought, desire, need
Me: pickup a good camera...pick a good bike ...do a road trip...8-10 days...this might give u a new perspective
MyDearFriend: I don’t ve bike
Me: get one na
MyDearFriend: kuchh nhin badlega in sab cheezon se (Nothing will change with all these things)...the questions remains we r just moving in space and time
Me: Even the greatest thinkers have got enlightenment when they have broken the mould of their daily routine...I would say take a break…no harm in trying...
MyDearFriend: I m on break already
Me: No not at home… go on some trip alone for a few days
MyDearFriend: to Himalayas with saffron clothes, trishul and damru
Me: ha ha ha…not necessarily; it’s not about appearance it’s about ur mind
MyDearFriend: u know u don’t need to go anywhere...one needs to go within...settle deep in urself that is the real journey
Me: hmm
MyDearFriend: this whole world is projection of ur mind one needs to go within practice silence appreciate nature renounce desires practice detachment and perhaps continence what u say
Me: ladke u should think about these things when u are 60 is what I feel.Did u think like this when u were a kid? No...Right??
MyDearFriend: that’s why in first place I asked how much is too much
Me: because u were too occupied learning and exploring new things
MyDearFriend: at 60 u will say lets think about it at 80 at some point sooner or later u ll ve to drop everything
Me: then probably it’s too unimportant a topic to spend your valuable time
MyDearFriend: rightly said...earlier I was busy exploring and learning new things. But we never explored and learned to go within
Me: see neither do I know that I had a life before this nor do I know there will be one after this one? So I don’t worry so much about spirituality…
MyDearFriend: don’t u think this is a new thing I was talking to XYZ today. That the most strangest thing or person u ve ever met or seen is ur own mind it is so fickle, we can't trust it sometimes it likes something other times it hates same thing feelings emotions on which so called human life is based constantly change. I don’t say that one should not ve feelings emotions but relying on them is not wisdom and 2nd thing that i was saying to XYZ is everything is transient in this world even this body is what do u say? May be I ve lots of time to think these things? But at end u can't get rid of this questions even if u get rid it will be 4 even if u get rid it will be 4 sometime these questions will come to haunt you at some later stage of ur life
Me: see neither do I know that I had a life before this nor do I know there will be one after this one? So I don’t worry so much about spirituality…
MyDearFriend: don’t u think this is a new thing I was talking to XYZ today. That the most strangest thing or person u ve ever met or seen is ur own mind it is so fickle, we can't trust it sometimes it likes something other times it hates same thing feelings emotions on which so called human life is based constantly change. I don’t say that one should not ve feelings emotions but relying on them is not wisdom and 2nd thing that i was saying to XYZ is everything is transient in this world even this body is what do u say? May be I ve lots of time to think these things? But at end u can't get rid of this questions even if u get rid it will be 4 even if u get rid it will be 4 sometime these questions will come to haunt you at some later stage of ur life
Me: Maybe they will I 'll cross the bridge when I reach the river
MyDearFriend: hmm...everybody needs to cross
Me: ladke I have a Meeting for which I need to prepare...but u have given me a good topic for my blog...maybe I 'll think over and write my opinion ....
Well call me an escapist if you like but I believe the more you think about life, spirituality etc the more trapped you get…it’s like a blackhole that sucks you in and there is no way out. Too many people have already spent their entire lives searching answers without getting anything back concrete, of course some like Gautam Budhha have succeeded and have paved the way for enlightenment. But if you are not happy with a situation and that is leading to these thoughts, then it only leads to depression. And I feel there is a certain time to do that and people my age are too young too inexperienced even to attempt that. When done at the right age it leads to self realization.
Even Bhagavad-Gita says human life is meant for self realization. And for that to happen the complete life is divided in 4 parts. Bhamchariya (celibate student), Grahastha (married life), Vanaprastha (detached life), Sanyasa (renounced stage). By following these 4 stages of life one is assured to be elevated to highest spiritual platform and at the end of the life person goes back to godhead, in the spiritual world. Well, in my opinion most people my age are in Brahmcharya or Grahastha stage and should reserve the detached or renounced stages for later life when they have successfully completed the Grahastha stage. Attempting detachment or renunciation before completing other stages is akin to trying to get to the 3rd and the 4th floor of a building before even climbing the first two - a near impossible situation and even if you try to jump too high you are bound to land flat on your face.
Now back to the pursuit of happiness, how do you find happiness? I believe if you are in a situation when you are not happy you should change something. Nobody is immune to depression or negative thoughts but what is important is how soon you break it. It’s like a cobweb the more you delay the more entangled you get.
I found this incredibly simple flowchart to attain perfect lifetime happiness.
Photo credit: FlowingData
The flowchart is little incomplete as an arrow from “Change Something” to “Are you happy?” would have completed it.
But alas, nothing is simple in this complicated world, so somebody decided to add more variables to it and look how complicated getting happiness looks.
Photo credit: FlowingData
And I believe that is how it is in the “real” world, it’s your perspective that decides how simple or complicated it is for you to attain happiness. I have known people who have limited means to sustain and yet go through their lives with a smile on their face. And there are others who are bestowed with all the luxuries in life and yet they crib and frown about everything. But the good thing is as humans we have an ultimate gift – the gift of “choice”- you can choose your happiness and as well as the method you want to employ to achieve it.
Let me know your thoughts, what you think defines true happiness and how we can achieve it??
Photo credit: FlowingData
And I believe that is how it is in the “real” world, it’s your perspective that decides how simple or complicated it is for you to attain happiness. I have known people who have limited means to sustain and yet go through their lives with a smile on their face. And there are others who are bestowed with all the luxuries in life and yet they crib and frown about everything. But the good thing is as humans we have an ultimate gift – the gift of “choice”- you can choose your happiness and as well as the method you want to employ to achieve it.
Let me know your thoughts, what you think defines true happiness and how we can achieve it??
